Twas The Night Before Cutoff
Twas the night before cutoff, when all through the house,
Not a programmer was keying, nor clicking their mouse.
The updates all filed into StarTeam with care,
In hopes that Seven_Three soon would be there.
Customers all nestled, snug in releases,
While palmtops and I-Phones sat dark in valises.
And Jimmy in his whites, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the Net there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my twitter to see what was the matter.
Away from my Windows I crept like a gnome,
Searched through my desktop and opened up Chrome.
The Graphic in the heading of the new-painted page
Gave mirth to results there listed by age.
When, what should appear down the page not too far,
But a Manage 2000 and 5 rating gold stars.
With data entry screens, so lively and quick,
I knew without thinking it started on PICK.
On UniData it thrives with GFE-free frames,
And whistles, and whirrs, and remembers their names
"Now Namer! now Schoolboy! now Farmboy and Widget!
On Motor Mouth! On Cheese Head! on Professor and Gidget!
To EDX, to SCREEN.BUILD, to BX REBUILD ALL
Now dot away! Dot away! Dot away all!"
The founder with his satchel all stuffed full of papers.
The performer and painter both cooking up capers.
The young black bird that had grown up so tall,
Leading us onward from the end of the hall.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So with hope of happy havens away they all flew,
Leaving a product full of toys, and Last Keys support too.
And then from the Palace, gave we measured lecture,
With summary and bullet of each treasured feature.
As I drew in my head, with my neck like a crane,
Down the cat-5 a new release came.
It spoke not a word, but went straight to its work,
And filled all the data, then re-painted with perk.
And laying a finger on top of my mouse,
I attached on my portal a jpg'ed house!
And then on a lark in a moment of need,
I dialed in from home to setup a Feed.
It summarized sales figures and displayed on my mobile,
It remembered my context and let me go global.
Saved out on disk, Install Shield's new folder,
Languishing there whilest the weather grows colder.
I heard it exclaim, ‘ere it shrank out of sight,
"Happy upgrade to all, and to all a good-night!"
- with inspiration from the Sniggletter
- and with apologies to Clement Clark Moore and Henry Livingston
